My Side of the Story

I know it's been a month, but I wanted to get my first delivery experience down in writing at some point. Elijah has been alive for 4 weeks today, and it was kinda fun going through all the pictures remembering that crazy experience. I was telling someone that it brings a mix of emotions as I look back over the pictures. You would think it would be emotions of delight and bliss and pure wonder. It wasn't exactly that... I feel as if I watched this whole experience from a distance. I definitely don't feel as if I lived these pictures. Life is just now starting to sink in. And I love it. Finally. Recovering from a c section was harder than I imagined... but I actually never imagined I 'd go through it. I never really thought about it. But the bonding and figuring out what the heck to do with a newborn was also pretty challenging. Literally, from one moment, you are the one being taken care of, and within about fifteen minutes , you are responsible to take care of a fragile little life. And you hurt and you're completely drugged up so you can't even think straight. What a crazy ride!! But I'm so glad to have gone through it and I am proud to be a mom! I love my little son. It definitely changed my perspective on life. On God. On my purpose. On what I've been living for and what I should be living for. On how fragile life is. On how incredibly small I am and how great our God is. I left the hospital feeling an overwhelming sense of how helpless I am. I'm sure some leave an experience like that feeling empowered . But I felt like a little girl with quivering knees standing before my daddy asking for help. Some might say that sounds sad or a feeling I need to grow out of. But I think it's exactly what I needed and hopefully where I'll stay.

Here's the story of Elijah Watt...6:00pm Tuesday May 11th. Josh made reservations at Reata so that we could have a date before all this went down. The Reata is the same restaurant he took me to when he proposed, so obviously it means a lot to me. We sat on the roof top patio in the middle of downtown Fort Worth and enjoyed a wonderful meal.

I was really enjoying myself until we paid the bill and headed back to our apartment. I started to get really anxious and when I get anxious I get game face. Kinda serious. :) We went back to the apartment and changed clothes. Here I am getting in the car to first take Charlie to the Schrenks, and then off to the hospital. One final look at me pregnant...

9:00pm Tuesday night. Pretty stinkin nervous at this point.

Josh was in heaven. He had snacks, cable and wireless internet. He told me he didn't want to leave. I think I cried.
Wednesday May 12th. I was starting to settle down at this point and getting really excited. This was my nurse Dierdra. She was with me all day as I was on pitocin and she was there through the epidural. She was also there when I heard Dr. Kolar tell me that I needed a c section and that I'd have my son in about 45 minutes.

Prepped for surgery. I kept reminding the anesthesiologist not to forget to go get Josh! He was waiting in my room till right before they started the surgery. BTW, this is Josh. My mom was wondering.

Hi E.
What an interesting photograph, huh...



I guess this is kinda sweet, first family photo. I don't remember this at all. And I hate seeing Elijah like this... he's SO swollen. He was so far dropped that it was kinda difficult getting him out even with the c section. You can tell he was pretty beaten up.

Proud daddy.
Right after surgery. I don't even know how long I slept. I think they woke me up to nurse him, but I don't really remember.

Josh did the majority of the holding at this point. I was too weak and tired to hold Elijah. Josh didn't get any sleep. He was awesome. I thought I'd be overwhelmed with love for my baby once he was born... but what I remember is being overwhelmed with love for my husband. I saw sacrifice in him I'd never seen before. He was a rock for me as I was adjusting to all this. Thanks babe.

I had to walk a few times a day to help myself start recovering. I had to push his little cradle around so that I had something to hold onto. Funny now, but this was really hard to do the first couple times. I got dizzy, tired, and a little nauseous. And I was really slow.



Mark and Jessica Driggers visiting at the hospital. I'm sure she felt like Elijah was kinda her son too. She walked with me through this entire pregnancy. I still remember telling her I was pregnant.